Review: Fighting Silence by Aly Martinez

SYNOPSIS:

Sound is an abstract concept for most people. We spend our lives blocking out the static in order to focus on what we believe is important. But what if, when the clarity fades into silence, it's the obscure background noise that you would give anything to hold on to?

I've always been a fighter. With parents who barely managed to stay out of jail and two little brothers who narrowly avoided foster care, I became skilled at dodging the punches life threw at me. Growing up, I didn’t have anything I could call my own, but from the moment I met Eliza Reynolds, she was always mine. I became utterly addicted to her and the escape from reality we provided each other. Throughout the years, she had boyfriends and I had girlfriends, but there wasn't a single night that I didn’t hear her voice.

You see, meeting the love of my life at age thirteen was never part of my plan. However, neither was gradually going deaf at the age of twenty-one.

They both happened anyway.

Now, I'm on the ropes during the toughest battles of my life.
Fighting for my career.
Fighting the impending silence.
Fighting for her.

Every night, just before falling asleep, she sighs as a final conscious breath leaves her.

I think that's the sound I'll miss the most.

Each book in this series can be read as a standalone.

MY THOUGHTS:

5 out of 5 stars

I first became a fan of this author with her Wrecked and Ruined series and when I saw the sign ups for this book, I jumped on the chance to read it.  The books I have read (and reviewed) were all 5 star reads.  I loved the plots, the characters, the way the story flowed off the pages.  I had no doubt that I would enjoy Fighting Silence, but I had no idea that "enjoy" would be a total understatement.

Y'all...my love for this book knows no limits.

Let me put it to you this way...after I finished reading Fighting Silence, I proposed to Aly Martinez.  

She said yes.  And I have the tweets to prove it.

I'm not even sure where to start when it comes to Fighting Silence.   As I've said from the very beginning of my blogging days, I am an emotionally driven reader.  Aly has never let me down in that department, but what I got from Fighting Silence was so much more than I was expecting.  The vulnerability in her characters...it added a depth to this story that knocked my socks off.

Till and Eliza.  Maybe it was that their story starts when they are thirteen.  Maybe it is their "apartment".  Maybe it was the fact that they were friends first and foremost.  I don't know how to describe it, but I absolutely fell in love with them as individuals and as a couple.  They make sense, they complement each other, they just work in a way that I celebrated and cried and laughed and fist pumped and unf'd and felt all the feels for them.

I made a comment to another blogger today about how I wasn't sure how to write this review.  How to translate "puffy heart eyes and stupid grins" into coherent thoughts and reasons.  What I should have done was take live actions shots of my face as I read and posted them in chronological order because there were so many cheesy grins and flails and tears...and all of them were integral to the story.  There wasn't a single part of the story that didn't make sense.  It all worked.  It all fit together like this perfect emotional puzzle.

I cannot wait to see where she takes this series.  Till and Eliza...their story ends where it should and I'm content.  But Flint and Quarry - Till's brothers -- they have so much to give and I know Aly will do wonderful things.

I've struggled recently with this blog, not really wanting to read or write reviews and I have seriously considered riding off into the bookish sunset -- but Fighting Silence has reminded me just how much fun it is to get excited about a book and how much fun it is to talk about it.

Thank you, Aly.  I look forward to starting our life together :)
    

EXCERPT:

"That wasn't yours to take away," he exploded into the otherwise silent night. His words echoed off the surrounding buildings, each wave slicing me to the quick all over again. "That was our place. Not yours." His voice cracked right alongside my heart.

"Yeah, well, there was a lot of stuff that wasn't yours to take either." I held his gaze, desperately trying to be strong, but as his eyes grew wide, I whimpered.

His long legs strode forward, stopping only inches away from me. He was crowding me, but he still leaned in closer to my face. "There is nothing in this world that was ever more mine than you," he stated. Though it was the absolute truth, I wished with all my heart that it were a lie.

"Till," I cried, swiping the tears from my eyes.

"Why!" he shouted, causing his muscles to tense under the force. "Goddamn it! I needed that place."

Porch lights flashed on from the surrounding apartments, illuminating not only the dark but also my rage.

I shoved my hands into his chest. "What about what I needed? You left! I waited in that fucking apartment for weeks."

He didn't budge, but my bare feet slipped, sending me toward the ground. Impossibly fast, Till's hand snaked out and caught my arm. I didn't let his chivalrous gesture douse my fire. I had six months’ worth of words to say to the man I was irrevocably in love with.

"You took what you wanted. Then you left me."

"Doodle," he whispered.

I had been perilously close to the edge of insanity, and with one single word, he’d pushed me over.

I lost it completely.

Pounding my fists against his chest, I screamed at the top of my lungs, "It's Eliza! My name is fucking Eliza! Not Doodle!" I spun to march away, but Till's arms folded around me, lifting me off my feet to restrain me.

I was miniscule compared to him. There was no use in fighting, but I still kicked my legs, irrationally desperate to get away from him—but only because I knew I couldn't keep him for forever.

"Stop it!" he growled into my ear. "I know your Goddamn name—probably better than I know my own."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

 Born and raised in Savannah, Georgia, Aly Martinez is a stay-at-home mom to four crazy kids under the age of five, including a set of twins. Currently living in South Carolina, she passes what little free time she has reading anything and everything she can get her hands on, preferably with a glass of wine at her side.  
After some encouragement from her friends, Aly decided to add “Author” to her ever-growing list of job titles. Five books later, she shows no signs of slowing. So grab a glass of Chardonnay, or a bottle if you’re hanging out with Aly, and join her aboard the crazy train she calls life.

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Review: Love and Other Unknown Variables by Shannon Lee Alexander

SYNOPSIS:

Charlie Hanson has a clear vision of his future. A senior at Brighton School of Mathematics and Science, he knows he’ll graduate, go to MIT, and inevitably discover solutions to the universe’s greatest unanswered questions. He’s that smart. But Charlie’s future blurs the moment he reaches out to touch the tattoo on a beautiful girl’s neck.

The future has never seemed very kind to Charlotte Finch, so she’s counting on the present. She’s not impressed by the strange boy at the donut shop—until she learns he’s a student at Brighton where her sister has just taken a job as the English teacher. With her encouragement, Charlie orchestrates the most effective prank campaign in Brighton history. But, in doing so, he puts his own future in jeopardy.

By the time he learns she's ill—and that the pranks were a way to distract Ms. Finch from Charlotte’s illness—Charlotte’s gravitational pull is too great to overcome. Soon he must choose between the familiar formulas he’s always relied on or the girl he’s falling for (at far more than 32 feet per second squared).

MY THOUGHTS:

5 out of 5 stars

23ish years ago, I sat in my 10th grade English class and listened to a friend read a story she had written for some assignment that I don't remember.  

Two thoughts ran through my mind that day.  First, that her story was really really good.  And second, that crap, I was going to go have to rewrite mine because my story really really wasn't.

Today, I'm reviewing her first book on my blog.  A concept that excites me now just as much as it terrified me at first -- because what if things didn't end well?  I mean, what if it wasn't good?  What if I didn't like it?  That might make things a bit awkward.  Keep in mind too, that there is a LOT of math in this book and I consider math to be the academic equivalent of Voldemort.  WHO WRITES A BOOK ABOUT MATH???

Still, there was no way I was going to pass up a chance to read her words and from the first page, it was quite obvious that I had made the right decision.   

I absolutely fell in love with this story.  


Charlie Hanson is my book soul mate.  Quirky and nerdy and obsessed with plans and rules...holy crow, I adore him.  I want him to be my best friend.  And Charlotte...she is who I want to be when I grow up.  Brave and ballsy and knowing exactly who she is.   Opposites on paper, together they make total sense and make my heart want to dance with happiness.  And laughter.  Y'all these characters are witty and snarky and so very funny.

Until.  And you know there is always an "until."

Yup, there I was floating along on a bliss cloud and BAM.  Things started to happen and though you probably know what they are, you also know I don't do spoilers -- you'll just have to be content with "things happen".  I emailed Shannon in tears and said "YOU DIDN'T WARN ME!"  Because I totally did cry.  

 A lot.

 
All that being said, you should know by now that I crave books that evoke intense feelings, so I didn't consider this to be a bad thing.  Not at all.  In fact, as a reader who reads for the emotional journey,  I quite often consider those books to be the best books.  

Here's the thing, though.  Yes, there were tears.  Lots of tears, actually.  But while sadness was definitely the obvious "in your face" emotion, it wasn't what stayed with me after I finished the book.  It was the light, the hope, that Charlotte brought to Charlie's life that still resonates with me today.  

Months after my first reading, weeks after the second...there are three words that stick with me.  Three words that I have highlighted on page 304 that Charlie says to Charlotte that go on the very top of my "if I ever get a tattoo" list.  I've wrapped them up so very tight and keep them close to me and think of them every day.  

Three words. 

So, yeah.   

I've been sitting here for a while now trying to figure out how to finish writing my review.  Do I pretend that I have some sort of well though out critical analysis of writing style and character development when that is not at all what I do? Ever.  Do I gush about how so very proud I am of my friend and how thankful I am that this book has brought us back together?  Do I talk about how I've been in a YA slump lately and how this book reminded me how much I love the genre?  Do I link you all to the picture she just put in a blog post of us from when we were 13?

Or do I just admit that nothing I can say about Love and Other Unknown Variables will sum up my thoughts in the way that I want to express them.  Just take my advice and let Charlie tell his story. 



**I have to confess that I had my original review ending with the words "absolute zero"...and I was all kinds of proud of myself.  Until I googled it just for confirmation and realized that it was a chemistry term and not a math term.  You can lead an English major to water, but you can't make her like math.  I'll leave the numbers to Charlie.     



 



 

Review: Faking Normal by Courtney C. Stevens

Right around Christmas, I tweeted and posted on the blog Facebook about a contest centering around the book Faking Normal, by Courtney S. Stevens.  When she reached out to bloggers to help her out, I jumped at the chance to get the word out because this book needs to be read.  I read it several weeks ago and was waiting until a bit closer to the publication date to post my review...until I realized that waiting wasn't doing anybody any favors and my thoughts needed to come out. 

SYNOPSIS:

Alexi Littrell hasn't told anyone what happened to her over the summer. Ashamed and embarrassed, she hides in her closet and compulsively scratches the back of her neck, trying to make the outside hurt more than the inside does.

When Bodee Lennox, the quiet and awkward boy next door, comes to live with the Littrells, Alexi discovers an unlikely friend in "the Kool-Aid Kid," who has secrets of his own. As they lean on each other for support, Alexi gives him the strength to deal with his past, and Bodee helps her find the courage to finally face the truth.

A searing, poignant book, Faking Normal is the extraordinary debut novel from an exciting new author-Courtney C. Stevens.

My Thoughts:

4.5 out of 5 stars.

To put it bluntly, this book punched me in the gut and it punched me hard.

I went in knowing that I was going to read an emotional book, I was counting on it actually.  What I didn't expect was a book that resonated through out every cell in my body.  

Alexi and Bodee...I don't even know what to say about them.  As a reader with a few scars of her own, I related more than I care to admit.  As a mother, I can't even begin to describe my need to comfort these characters and how I teared up over the way they kept their struggles so secretive.  Every ounce of me hated that they felt so alone and I wanted to crawl into the pages and tell Alexi to speak up and that she didn't have to keep quiet.  But it is so easy to question keeping secrets when we are on the outside looking in, isn't it?

Being a victim is never easy, but being a victim when you are still learning how to live ventures into the realm of cruel and unusual.  Life at 16 and 17 and 18 years old is hard enough on its own, but adding secrets to the mix makes living unfair and both of these kids would have done anything in their power to just live a normal life.  

It kind of makes me cringe when I think about the things I complained about when I was their age.  

Gotta love perspective...   

So it should come as no surprise that I cried for Alexi.  Not just because of her secrets however, but also in spite of them.    

Yes, her secret is gut-wrenching, but I also cried for her strength.  Because of the way that even with the scratches and the closet and the counting and all the anxiety that riddles her body as she tries to keep her family and friends in the dark, she was strong.  Stronger than any girl at any age should ever have to be.  All in her quest to be normal.

And for several months, she manages to pull it off.  Until one day when her life intersects with someone who can see past her facade.  

A boy with kool-aid hair who tries to live life while the entire town whispers about him behind his back.  He knows exactly what Alexi is doing, even if he doesn't know why.  While his scars weren't a secret, that doesn't mean that he wouldn't give anything to also be normal.

And he takes it upon himself to let Alexi know that she isn't alone. 

Like magnets, Alexi and Bodee are drawn together.  Because of what they feel inside, because of what they think the other needs, because when they're together, they distract each other from the pain and they don't feel so completely alone.  They don't judge, they don't criticize, they don't analyze...they support.  Beautifully and flawlessly.     

As the story progresses, the relationship between Bodee and Alexi begins to grow from one of pity to one of friendship to one of a gentle and super sweet romance.  I mean...every girl should have a Bodee in her life.  Every boy should take lessons because his heart is one of the purest I've ever read.   PUFFY HEART EYES!

And as Alexi learns to let Bodee in, she also realizes that keeping her secrets and faking her normal is starting to eat her alive.  He can't fight the fight for her, but he can support her through every single step.  All she has to do, is let him.     

It is really really difficult to write this review without giving away any of the details.  I have to think carefully about how to convey my connection to this book in a way that will do it justice and not tell their story.  I'm not sure anything I can type will be enough though because seriously, this story needs to be told.   

Ms. Stevens write a story about tough subjects and tough choices and she does it well.  There was just enough information given to let the reader know the whos and the whys and the hows but kept the events from being the focus of the story.  This story isn't about particular events, but the details in the life after and how, when allowed to fester, can begin to define how a person begins to exist.   

And how channeling your brave can be the best decision you'll ever make.  

Faking Normal will be available on February 25, 2014.  Put it on your to-read list now!
Ms. Stevens, I look forward to reading much much more from you.     

Thank you to Harper Teen and Edelweiss for the opportunity to read this amazing book. 

Review: The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider

From Goodreads:

Golden boy Ezra Faulkner believes everyone has a tragedy waiting for them—a single encounter after which everything that really matters will happen. His particular tragedy waited until he was primed to lose it all: in one spectacular night, a reckless driver shatters Ezra’s knee, his athletic career, and his social life.

No longer a front-runner for Homecoming King, Ezra finds himself at the table of misfits, where he encounters new girl Cassidy Thorpe. Cassidy is unlike anyone Ezra’s ever met, achingly effortless, fiercely intelligent, and determined to bring Ezra along on her endless adventures.

But as Ezra dives into his new studies, new friendships, and new love, he learns that some people, like books, are easy to misread. And now he must consider: if one’s singular tragedy has already hit and everything after it has mattered quite a bit, what happens when more misfortune strikes?

Robyn Schneider’s The Beginning of Everything is a lyrical, witty, and heart-wrenching novel about how difficult it is to play the part that people expect, and how new beginnings can stem from abrupt and tragic endings.


You know those moments when the stars align and you read the perfect book at the perfect time?  Yeah, that happened to me last weekend.  I was in a meh mood and life was just one kick in the ass moment after another...until I started reading this book.

THIS BOOK.

I can already tell that this post is going to be a bunch of different rambles all with the same message.  That being, you need to read this one.  My emotional response to this book just stomps all over my ability to form coherent thoughts.  I don't even know...the writing, the words, the characters...they just marched into my heart and decided to take up permanent residence. 

Ezra.  Gah, what can I say about him?  I loved him from the very beginning.  His struggles...I have been there.  Obviously not in the same way, but the parallels...yeah, they were absolutely there.

That everyone's life, no matter how unremarkable, has a moment when it will become extraordinary-a single encounter after which everything that really matters will happen.

I know my moment.  The very single instance when I figured out who I was and what was truly important in life.  Maybe that was my connection to this book - that having had my moment, I found myself pulling for Ezra and rooting for him as he searched for his path.

And Cassidy...I both loved her and hated her.  And maybe felt a little bit jealous of her until I wanted to hug her.  This vibrant tornado that appears everyday and uproots everything Ezra thought he needed to hold on to.

I loved the two of them together.  The back and forth between them, the emotional connection, the cuteness and awkwardness of early relationships...perfect.  And real.  

There was a true balance in the writing.  There were moments that were completely poetic and there were moments that were so completely high school that I found myself alternating between giggling and swooning over pretty words.  Ezra and Cassidy...their life experiences have unfortunately propelled them to this level of philosophic maturity where they shouldn't have to be at 17, and then they would say something or laugh at something that would remind you that oh yeah, they were definitely still in high school.

And even when it all comes crashing down around them, it results in an ending that works. 

I told you my thoughts were all over the place...

  
But like I said in the beginning, sometimes the book gods smile down and you read the right book a the right time.  With its blend of happy and sad and funny and reality, The Beginning of Everything has a permanent place on my list of favorites and will be one I recommend forever.



       

Me Before You - Jojo Moyes

From Goodreads:

Lou Clark knows lots of things. She knows how many footsteps there are between the bus stop and home. She knows she likes working in The Buttered Bun tea shop and she knows she might not love her boyfriend Patrick.
What Lou doesn't know is she's about to lose her job or that knowing what's coming is what keeps her sane.
Will Traynor knows his motorcycle accident took away his desire to live. He knows everything feels very small and rather joyless now and he knows exactly how he's going to put a stop to that.
What Will doesn't know is that Lou is about to burst into his world in a riot of colour. And neither of them knows they're going to change the other for all time.

One of my favorite things is when an author writes a story that slams into my soul.  When I read a book thinking I know what I'm going to find and instead, I'm absolutely blindsided.  That's what happened with this book.  Jojo Moyes takes a tough topic and turns it into an incredible love story -- not a romance, but a love story.   

On Tuesday, I listed this book in my Top Ten Books Dealing With Difficult Subjects -- quite honestly, I feel pretty confident saying it is my favorite book of 2013 and in my Top Ten period. (And Katy, when you told me you bought this book yesterday, it was all I could do to not jump up and down and fist-pump!)

It is a story about love and life and life and love.  A story of family and devotion.  A story of difficult choices and taking chances and keeping promises.  It is funny and sweet and though provoking and omg, why don't you just rip my heart out and stomp on it while you're at it.   

My husband was home for lunch when I finished reading it and upon hearing me sobbing in my chair, he shook his head and said "why do you do this to yourself?"

BECAUSE!!!!!

I fell in love with Lou and her passion for living even before she realized she had it.  I fell in love with Will for seeing Lou's potential and for shoving it in her face.  I want to wear striped tights and go to Paris and wear red dresses.  So much can take place in six months, never stop taking advantage.

“The thing about being catapulted into a whole new life--or at least, shoved up so hard against someone else's life that you might as well have your face pressed against their window--is that it forces you to rethink your idea of who you are. Or how you might seem to other people.”

And when perfect endings are perfect, what more can I say besides read it -- and then let me know what you think.

    

Top Ten Tuesday - Top Ten Books Dealing With Tough Subjects

So the super fun bloggers at The Broke and The Bookish host a fun challenge called Top Ten Tuesday and I thought I'd give it a try.

This week's topic:  Top Ten Books Dealing With Tough Subjects

Ok, so wow.  Fun stuff, right? :)  But when I sat down and thought about it, many of my recent favorites have been books that push the emotional envelope a little bit.  Or a lot.

Some of these I plan on talking about in a future post, some of these you'll just have to trust me.  Email me, text me, track me down in the carpool line and I'll be glad to talk to you about them one on one -- but when faced with a blank page and a cursor...I can't find the words.  At least not today.

As always, click on the title for more info.

How To Kill A Rock Star - Tiffanie DeBartolo

I just spent a good half hour trying to find my favorite quote, favorite passage, favorite anything from this book.  I'm pretty sure it is impossible.

We all have that something...a song, a poem, a book (raises hand) that just takes everything you've always wanted to say and presents it in this way that makes you just want to nod your head and say "yes" - I affectionately refer to it as "book church".  I learned a long time ago that I don't have what it takes to write a book - but if I could, if I had that way with words that I so greatly admire, I would want it to be like this one. 

“I am of the theory that all of our transcendental connections, anything we're drawn to, be it a person, a song, a painting on a wall--they're magnetic. The art is the alloy, so to speak. And our souls are equipped with whatever properties are required to attract that alloy. I'm no scientist so I don't really know what the hell these properties are, but my point is we're drawn to stuff we've already got a connection to. Part of the thing is already inside of us.”

I mean, COME ON.  The way the words flow and the story unfolds...I'm not even making any sense.  

I've read this book more than once, and even though I know what happens, I still find myself feeling all the visceral feels.  I swoon, and roll my eyes, and mutter under my breath, and cry and swoon and want to throw things and swoon and shake people until they come to their senses.

“Eliza has the sky in her eyes and I’ve always wanted to touch the goddamn sky.” 

And swoon more. 

The story is told from three perspectives -- Eliza, Paul and Loring.  You'd think the changing POVs would be an issue, but it really isn't.  Each character gives their unique spin on the story and they weave together until you just want to wrap yourself in it and let it keep you warm.  I have more passages highlighted than any other book I've ever read and going back and rereading them to write this nonsensical ramble makes me want to read  it again for the kazillionth time.  And to be honest, I'll probably find more things to highlight.

“See that?” Paul said. “Ten goddamn seconds.”

“I don't get it.”

“You didn't even have to hear the whole song, just a few lines, and you still got chills and that swirly, happy-sad feeling in your gut, didn't you?”

“So?”

“So?” he huffed. “That's the difference between the real stuff and the crap. I know which one you are and you know which one I am.”

And you can probably guess which one I think this book is.  So yeah, I think you should read it.   

You can learn more about this amazing book here.