Review: Trust the Focus by Megan Erickson

With his college graduation gown expertly pitched into the trash, Justin Akron is ready for the road trip he planned with his best friend Landry— and ready for one last summer of escape from his mother’s controlling grip. Climbing into the Winnebago his father left him, they set out across America in search of the sites his father had captured through the lens of his Nikon.

As an aspiring photographer, Justin can think of no better way to honor his father’s memory than to scatter his ashes at the sites he held sacred. And there’s no one Justin would rather share the experience with more than Landry.

But Justin knows he can’t escape forever. Eventually he’ll have to return home and join his mother’s Senate campaign. Nor can he escape the truth of who he is, and the fact that he’s in love with his out-and-proud travel companion.

Admitting what he wants could hurt his mother’s conservative political career. But with every click of his shutter and every sprinkle of ash, Justin can’t resist Landry’s pull. And when the truth comes into focus, neither is prepared for the secrets the other is hiding.

 MY THOUGHTS:

4 out of 5 stars

I finished this book just over a week ago and thought for sure that as soon as the snow melted and my kids were back in school that I'd sit down and my thoughts on this book would flow.  Because I had all the thoughts and all the feelings and Justin and Landry thawed my frozen book heart.

Yeah...I'm staring at the screen again wishing I could just say "read this book" and you would say "okay" and then you would love it and everybody would be happy.   

It would certainly make writing reviews easier - especially in this case.  Because I have no idea where to start.

I love book boys.  Boys in books.  NA/YA/Adult...I fall for them every time.  Because they are perfect in their own fictional way -- and in this book, THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!!!   

PLUS, it is a friends to more story which will never lead you wrong.

AND...there is a road trip.

It is like the perfect storm of my favorite things.  

All this even before emotions got involved -- and once the emotional floodgates were opened, I was a lost cause.  This book was everything I want to feel as a reader.  There was humor and snark and romance and unf and fear and loathing and dread and tears and anger and pure love and love and love and love.  I am so afraid that somebody will see this book and be turned off without giving it a chance solely because it is a M/M story -- but that isn't what this story is about.   Finding the inner strength to trust himself, getting beyond the fears, the "rules", the prejudices that have kept him from feeling whole -- THAT was the journey for Justin.

I have a twelve year old who is so worried about what others think that he is afraid to take chances.  There have been instances where I can SEE his desire to let loose and be silly, and yet he doesn't let go because he is afraid to do things "wrong".  And I'm talking about insignificant things -- diving from the blocks during swim team practice, dancing at cotillion, playing soccer.  He is so terrified of being ridiculed that he holds himself back.  Just watching him hold back on the small things makes me want to hug him and I constantly try and figure out ways to make him get past the perceived social constructs of 6th grade.   

I can't even fathom watching somebody I love struggle with the bigger things.  Just reading Justin's -- a FICTIONAL character's -- battle within himself just about broke me.  

Reading Landry's struggles with Justin's struggles -- are you following me, here -- they were almost worse.  His light dimmed with every hesitation and while I knew Justin had to get "there" on his own, I wanted to smack him and make him see what was happening around him.  

GAH...SO MANY FEELS.  

Trust the Focus isn't my first Megan Erickson read...but I think it may be my favorite.       
 

Review: Fighting Silence by Aly Martinez

SYNOPSIS:

Sound is an abstract concept for most people. We spend our lives blocking out the static in order to focus on what we believe is important. But what if, when the clarity fades into silence, it's the obscure background noise that you would give anything to hold on to?

I've always been a fighter. With parents who barely managed to stay out of jail and two little brothers who narrowly avoided foster care, I became skilled at dodging the punches life threw at me. Growing up, I didn’t have anything I could call my own, but from the moment I met Eliza Reynolds, she was always mine. I became utterly addicted to her and the escape from reality we provided each other. Throughout the years, she had boyfriends and I had girlfriends, but there wasn't a single night that I didn’t hear her voice.

You see, meeting the love of my life at age thirteen was never part of my plan. However, neither was gradually going deaf at the age of twenty-one.

They both happened anyway.

Now, I'm on the ropes during the toughest battles of my life.
Fighting for my career.
Fighting the impending silence.
Fighting for her.

Every night, just before falling asleep, she sighs as a final conscious breath leaves her.

I think that's the sound I'll miss the most.

Each book in this series can be read as a standalone.

MY THOUGHTS:

5 out of 5 stars

I first became a fan of this author with her Wrecked and Ruined series and when I saw the sign ups for this book, I jumped on the chance to read it.  The books I have read (and reviewed) were all 5 star reads.  I loved the plots, the characters, the way the story flowed off the pages.  I had no doubt that I would enjoy Fighting Silence, but I had no idea that "enjoy" would be a total understatement.

Y'all...my love for this book knows no limits.

Let me put it to you this way...after I finished reading Fighting Silence, I proposed to Aly Martinez.  

She said yes.  And I have the tweets to prove it.

I'm not even sure where to start when it comes to Fighting Silence.   As I've said from the very beginning of my blogging days, I am an emotionally driven reader.  Aly has never let me down in that department, but what I got from Fighting Silence was so much more than I was expecting.  The vulnerability in her characters...it added a depth to this story that knocked my socks off.

Till and Eliza.  Maybe it was that their story starts when they are thirteen.  Maybe it is their "apartment".  Maybe it was the fact that they were friends first and foremost.  I don't know how to describe it, but I absolutely fell in love with them as individuals and as a couple.  They make sense, they complement each other, they just work in a way that I celebrated and cried and laughed and fist pumped and unf'd and felt all the feels for them.

I made a comment to another blogger today about how I wasn't sure how to write this review.  How to translate "puffy heart eyes and stupid grins" into coherent thoughts and reasons.  What I should have done was take live actions shots of my face as I read and posted them in chronological order because there were so many cheesy grins and flails and tears...and all of them were integral to the story.  There wasn't a single part of the story that didn't make sense.  It all worked.  It all fit together like this perfect emotional puzzle.

I cannot wait to see where she takes this series.  Till and Eliza...their story ends where it should and I'm content.  But Flint and Quarry - Till's brothers -- they have so much to give and I know Aly will do wonderful things.

I've struggled recently with this blog, not really wanting to read or write reviews and I have seriously considered riding off into the bookish sunset -- but Fighting Silence has reminded me just how much fun it is to get excited about a book and how much fun it is to talk about it.

Thank you, Aly.  I look forward to starting our life together :)
    

EXCERPT:

"That wasn't yours to take away," he exploded into the otherwise silent night. His words echoed off the surrounding buildings, each wave slicing me to the quick all over again. "That was our place. Not yours." His voice cracked right alongside my heart.

"Yeah, well, there was a lot of stuff that wasn't yours to take either." I held his gaze, desperately trying to be strong, but as his eyes grew wide, I whimpered.

His long legs strode forward, stopping only inches away from me. He was crowding me, but he still leaned in closer to my face. "There is nothing in this world that was ever more mine than you," he stated. Though it was the absolute truth, I wished with all my heart that it were a lie.

"Till," I cried, swiping the tears from my eyes.

"Why!" he shouted, causing his muscles to tense under the force. "Goddamn it! I needed that place."

Porch lights flashed on from the surrounding apartments, illuminating not only the dark but also my rage.

I shoved my hands into his chest. "What about what I needed? You left! I waited in that fucking apartment for weeks."

He didn't budge, but my bare feet slipped, sending me toward the ground. Impossibly fast, Till's hand snaked out and caught my arm. I didn't let his chivalrous gesture douse my fire. I had six months’ worth of words to say to the man I was irrevocably in love with.

"You took what you wanted. Then you left me."

"Doodle," he whispered.

I had been perilously close to the edge of insanity, and with one single word, he’d pushed me over.

I lost it completely.

Pounding my fists against his chest, I screamed at the top of my lungs, "It's Eliza! My name is fucking Eliza! Not Doodle!" I spun to march away, but Till's arms folded around me, lifting me off my feet to restrain me.

I was miniscule compared to him. There was no use in fighting, but I still kicked my legs, irrationally desperate to get away from him—but only because I knew I couldn't keep him for forever.

"Stop it!" he growled into my ear. "I know your Goddamn name—probably better than I know my own."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

 Born and raised in Savannah, Georgia, Aly Martinez is a stay-at-home mom to four crazy kids under the age of five, including a set of twins. Currently living in South Carolina, she passes what little free time she has reading anything and everything she can get her hands on, preferably with a glass of wine at her side.  
After some encouragement from her friends, Aly decided to add “Author” to her ever-growing list of job titles. Five books later, she shows no signs of slowing. So grab a glass of Chardonnay, or a bottle if you’re hanging out with Aly, and join her aboard the crazy train she calls life.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads

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Review: Had to Be You by Juliet Chatham

SYNOPSIS:

After college, Rory Finn left behind the familiarity of her quiet, picturesque hometown to pursue a professional career in the city. With her sights firmly on the future, Rory pressed on in hopes of forgetting the past until a jarring bit of unwelcome news forces her to confront it.

Her first love, the one she'd tried so hard to forget, is about to marry someone else. That pang Rory feels isn't envy, it's not even regret. It's love. But Rory can't be that girl. She won't. But if she doesn't, she'll never know what could have been. She'll never have another chance to tell him how she feels.

As she embarks on an impulsive, desperate bid to win him back, her mission turns into an unexpected and emotional journey of rediscovery. HAD TO BE YOU explores a history of love from its tentative beginnings to what may just turn out to be its final bittersweet end, as Rory ignores her head and follows her heart.synopsis:

MY THOUGHTS:

5 out of 5 stars

The best way to start this review is to put it all out there.  This book rocked my socks off.  Seriously.  I loved it.  LOVED IT.  LOVED IT.  LOVED IT.

It doesn't help that I am a sucker for a good "first love" story.  I mean, who doesn't love the chance to remember the way it feels, the flutters, the swoons...and for some, the heartbreak. 

The emotional reader in me gets giddy just THINKING about it and Had to Be You was everything I had hoped it would be and more.    

Rory and Matt.  Matt and Rory.  The best of friends, you rarely found one without the other.  Their relationship was a slow burn that was nurtured through years of pig-tail pulling and affectionate insults.  It happened over the years, before they even realized what was happening and when the spark ignited, resistance was futile.

True. Love. Forever.

Except for when they break up.  And get back together.  And break up.  And get back together.  And break up.  

Surely the next "back together" will happen...until it doesn't.

From the very beginning, when Rory learns about Matt's impending wedding, I found myself totally relating to pretty much every. little. thing.  The gut-punch of seeing the invitation...gah, I can still feel it and it hurts.  It hurts a lot.  And of course, the questions and what-ifs begin to fly...and the wine begins to flow...and ideas get tossed around.  Throw in some flashbacks to happier times and BAM...bring on the feels. 

The flashbacks made this book for me.  The parallels and connection to "real time" moments provided a depth to Rory and Matt's relationship that only knowing their history could do -- but in a way that didn't make me feel like I was being inundated with back story.  

This book has everything I look for.  I laughed, I cried, I fetal-rocked and found myself thinking about...well, thinking about people and places I hadn't thought about in a long time.  You know how a certain song can take you back in an instant to a very specific place or time in your life...yeah, this book did that for me more than a few times.  I wanted to wrap myself up in Rory and Matt's story and never ever let go.   

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

A lifelong New Englander, I divide my time between the North Shore and Cape Cod. My favorite things are beaches, boats, books, bars, the Boston Red Sox and boys, but not necessarily in that order. Consequently, you’ll probably find that these are the things I write about, too.

Author Links:
http://sunnybeachday.wordpress.com/
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7778778.Juliet_Chatham
https://twitter.com/JulietChatham

GIVEAWAY:

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Blog Tour Organized by:
YA Bound Book Tours

Gone by Anna Bloom - Review and Giveaway

SYNOPSIS:

Title: Gone
Author: Anna Bloom
Genre: Mature YA (intended for readers ages 16-19)
Publication: July 28th, 2014

Rebecca Walters harbours a dark secret, and as the fifty-three bangles she wears on her wrists as a self-imposed sentence of guilt remind her, she can’t even begin to consider moving on. Not after what happened on that night six months ago… a night which she can’t remember and yet managed to change her life forever.

When Rebecca comes across Joshua Adams, man equally haunted by past tragedies, on a moonlit beach, both of their lives are destined to change forever, and when the girl made out of the sun meets the boy made out of the moon and sea, anything can happen… but will the knowledge of their murky pasts bring them together or drive them apart?

Will Rebecca finally be able to claim her freedom? Will she stay and fight to be the girl she found on the sandy beaches of Cornwall or is she destined to keep running and hiding from a past that won’t stay Gone? One thing’s for certain: either way, nothing will ever be the same again.

Amazon                  Barnes and Noble

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MY THOUGHTS:

5 out of 5 stars

Gah.  This summer has been a bit different for me in that I've been on a bit of a rereading kick and have sort of put the blog on "vacation mode" to let my batteries recharge and maybe figure out a few things.  I definitely cut back on the number of book tours on my schedule.  

But this book - it has called to me from the very first time I saw it mentioned in a book blast sign up.  I love good angst and there was something about it that called to me and even though I really did intend to stay away from scheduled reviews, I knew I had to read it.

Y'all, when the book heart knows, the book heart knows.

Gone absolutely owns me right now.  I want to gush about it and quote pretty words and talk about how the angst was just the perfect amount without being over the top and how much I enjoyed the characters and how I wanted to make everything better and how Joshua is now my new book boyfriend.

Joshua.

Dreadlocked surfer painter boy with a heart and a car named Daisy.  For real.  My inner 20 year old is in love (and maybe my 39 year old self is a little bit as well).

He makes me grinny.

There was so much emotion in this story...I felt a little bit of everything, but not too much of anything if that makes sense.  The darkness felt by Rebecca and by Joshua was balanced with hope and swoons, the anger and sadness with happiness.  The angst...it was so so so good.

I'm sitting here writing my thoughts and wishing that I could just gush endlessly about Gone.  I want to reread it already.  I want to read it for the first time all over again.  I want to gather all my bookish friends and watch them read it and then talk about all our favorite parts.  As an emotional reader, I connected with this book in a way that doesn't always happen and I can't recommend this book enough.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Anna Bloom is a contemporary romance writer who writes about life as it happens. Combining a busy schedule of looking after two small children whilst working in a local school and completing The Uni Files series she also spends a lot of time imagining kissing hot guys – all in the name of her art.

                  Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads  

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Review: Reclaimed by Sarah Guillory

Synopsis:

Jenna Oliver doesn’t have time to get involved with one boy, let alone two.

All Jenna wants is to escape her evaporating small town and her alcoholic mother. She's determined she'll go to college and find a life that is wholly hers—one that isn't tainted by her family's past. But when the McAlister twins move to town and Jenna gets involved with both of them, she learns the life she planned may not be the one she gets.

Ian McAlister doesn't want to start over; he wants to remember.

Ian can’t recall a single thing from the last three months—and he seems to be losing more memories every day. His family knows the truth, but no one will tell him what really happened before he lost his memory. When he meets Jenna, Ian believes that he can be normal again because she makes not remembering something he can handle.

The secret Ian can’t remember is the one Luke McAlister can’t forget.

Luke has always lived in the shadow of his twin brother until Jenna stumbles into his life. She sees past who he’s supposed to be, and her kiss brings back the spark that life stole. Even though Luke feels like his brother deserves her more, Luke can’t resist Jenna—which is the trigger that makes Ian's memory return.

Jenna, Ian, & Luke are about to learn there are only so many secrets you can keep before the truth comes to reclaim you.

MY THOUGHTS: 

4 out of 5 stars

Several weeks ago, I was lucky enough to win this book through a contest hosted by Liza Wiemer on her blog, WhoRuBlog.  Based on her own reviews, I found myself drawn to the premise of Reclaimed and out of all the books she offered, this book was the one that I said I wanted.

I chose right.

Now, while I didn't grow up with the same family dynamic as Jenna, I could appreciate her absolute desire to escape the small town where she grew up.  I made that promise to myself early on and as I read her thoughts and her plans for her life, I felt like I was able to completely relate to where she was coming from.  

Even with the obstacles thrown her way, Jenna is on the right path...all she has to do is survive the summer and her senior year in High School.  That's it.  Easy peasy, right?

You'd think so.

When the McAlister family comes to town, lets just say that Jenna's straightforward path gets a little bit murky. 

First, there is Ian.  Sweet, swoony, smart Ian.  He plays football, makes good grades, and even with the fact that he can't remember some of his past, there is something about him that draws Jenna in.  Falling for Ian is something that looks like it is going to happen.

Until Jenna finds out about Luke.

Like so many of us, Jenna finds herself intrigued by the bad boy.  After spending so much of her life being good, it is hard for her to resist the allure, the mystery, the unf...even as she constantly reminds herself that she needs to stay away.

And she tries, she really does.  

Until she can't. 


I read lots of books, so it isn't often that I am completely blindsided by a twist or a turn in the plot.  Yeah...I was completely not expecting what happened to happen.  I mean, I was sitting in my car reading in the carpool line when THE MOMENT was revealed and I felt a little like this:

 and then like this:

   and then this:

 

   Now, I don't need to remind you of my no-spoiler policy, so don't even ask.  But I completely mean it when I say that I was blindsided.  And I LOVED IT!

Please, I need somebody to go get this book and read it and then come find me so we can talk about it.  Because for real, I need to talk about it with somebody that has read it.

The way the author describes the town, the emotions, the relationships in Reclaimed...GAH, she can tell a story.  And she did it all without giving anything away.  Did I mention that I was blindsided?  I'm gonna need Sarah Guillory to go write more things so I can read them all.  

Go get this book today and read it and then come tell me what you think.  I'll be waiting. 

Review: Heartbeat by Elizabeth Scott

SYNOPSIS:

Life. Death. And...Love?

Emma would give anything to talk to her mother one last time. Tell her about her slipping grades, her anger with her stepfather, and the boy with the bad reputation who might be the only one Emma can be herself with.

But Emma can't tell her mother anything. Because her mother is brain-dead and being kept alive by machines for the baby growing inside her.

Meeting bad-boy Caleb Harrison wouldn't have interested Old Emma. But New Emma-the one who exists in a fog of grief, who no longer cares about school, whose only social outlet is her best friend Olivia-New Emma is startled by the connection she and Caleb forge.

Feeling her own heart beat again wakes Emma from the grief that has grayed her existence. Is there hope for life after death-and maybe, for love?

MY THOUGHTS:

4 out of 5 stars

I totally underestimated this book going in, though I can't tell you why.  A friend from another blog sent me her ARC on a whim and there you have reason #5743245 why book friends are the best friends -they introduce you to words and characters you weren't even looking for but are so happy you found.

So, back to the book and how the best way to describe it is HOLY FEELS.  I absolutely loved the way that this story took a controversial (and coincidentally timely) story and made it so much more than what is simply right or wrong, black or white, me or you.  It focused on the grief and the love and the tears and the memories and the fears and how they build on each other to form opinions and ideals.

It reminds us that the idea that what we want more than anything isn't always possible.  

"Under the idea that we can all make our fates, that we have choices, is the reminder that sometimes we don't.  That sometimes life is bigger than ourplans.  Bigger than us."

In this complex and sometimes cruel world though are amazing relationships that offer so much when needed, and Emma finds this in the one person she never imagined would be her respite from her pain.  Being broken doesn't mean you have to be alone.

"I feel special.  I feel like there is the world, and then there is Caleb and me.  Just us, a broken little party of two bit it isn't so bad, being broken.  Not with someone who understands.  Not with him."

I can't say enough about Emma as a main character.  She was so so so very strong and yet with every argument with her stepfather, every conversation with her mother, every memory she clung to showed that she was so so so very torn.  And angry.  And vulnerable.  I didn't read her as a petulant, whiny, immature YA character.  She was true and I was moved by her story.

If you are looking for a deeply emotional read that will fill you with feels, I can't recommend Heartbeat enough.  I look forward to reading more from Elizabeth Scott.